by sylvia chong
30 January 1993



          when I last had a man
    I lost him in the infinite blackness of my hair

    he was holding on
          grasping with his greedy hands
    when he disappeared
    somewhere around my vast hips
          I had sung my siren-song
    and he was gone

    *       *       *

    in the beginning
    there was my face-off with God and Adam
    I refused to serve His will
    I refused to tend the Garden clad only in my hair
    I refused to bathe with the animals
    I refused to be put on my back

          instead, I sleep with the demons
    I travel through mirrors, through night
    I fly with the screech owl and the bat
    and carry the bodies of babies
    in my ragged fingers

    *       *       *

    --when I slip naked between your sheets
    beware that you do not lose your way--

    *       *       *

    witch that I am,
    I seduce your husbands
    I kill your newborns
    I drive your daughters into the night

    *       *       *

    you accuse me of these witchcrafts
          (banished me from Eden
    when I whispered His name
    from my heat into the balmy breeze)

    so I live through others
    my insides are warm, fiery
    to the touch
    I wed through adultery
    I conceive through murder
    I love as you forbid your daughters to do the same
    sin   is my life
    sin   is my pathway to the world

    *       *       *

    does this mean I must be exorcised
    through your pretty trinkets,
    marvelous amulets
          the three angels can do nothing
    though I leave of my own free will

    I do relish my flight
    my creation of so much darkness
    to combat the glaring light
    --just look into my eyes--
    do you see me
    do you see through me
    do you see at all
    but I   see   you

    *       *       *

    just try to banish me again
    just try to keep your loved ones away from me
    just try to close the door to my cave
    the windows are your vanity
    your shame
    your longings for purity in blood-covered bodies
    I came First
    I had the First Man
    I danced with the First Cause

    *       *       *

          when I last had a man
    I swallowed him whole
    and he laughed with joy inside my belly